D3 body, D1 cock
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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