You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
