i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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