i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
