please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
