i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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