he shaved USA in his pubs
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize