I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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