Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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