I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
