Jerry, you need to find god
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize