its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
