I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
