We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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