K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
