Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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