Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
