i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
