batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I think your dad took our porno
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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