I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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