Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My life is pants optional.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
