thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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