How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Did you pee in the oven last night??
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
