I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
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