Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize