I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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