If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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