What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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