Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
