Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
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And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
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Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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