How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
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