I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
