that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize