Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
