garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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