all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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