My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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