He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
