i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
do herpes really smell.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize