So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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