I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
