two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
