She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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