he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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