Me too!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
