Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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