I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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