You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
