yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
