Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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