Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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