i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
