i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
