Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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