Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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