Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize