I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Everything about him screamed your future.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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