yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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