So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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