I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
should my penis look like a turkey
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
