the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
