I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
