A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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