So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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