Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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