The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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