she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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