just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
