so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
