ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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